Mommy Finger, Baby Finger

Can you wholeheartedly say that you know yourself? 

Self-connection is an intentional and deeply personal examination of the self to be aligned with the self. Self-connection has three components: self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-alignment.

A lot of us don’t realize how easy it is to disconnect from ourselves in a world that’s loud, demanding, and constantly moving until we find ourselves feeling empty, tired, anxious and perhaps even stuck. I know, because I’ve been there. 

Nobody deserves to live this way, and yet, more often than not, most of us do … living life on autopilot for so long, unaware that we’re on autopilot. And, because we’re unaware of our habits, routines, impulses, and reactions, we don’t stop to notice our surroundings, emotions, thoughts, or behaviors, and how they affect our relationships – with ourselves and others.

I have been on this journey for some time, and I’m trying to post more consistently and share helpful self-awareness and personal development content as well as my own experiences. 

My 30s have really been about discovering what I need, slowing down,and living thoughtfully and intentionally. 

Here are five ways I started re-connecting to myself:

1. Write Daily

Journaling has been proven to reduce stress and increase self-awareness. 

Writing daily will also help you keep a written record of your thoughts, feelings and experiences. 

Journaling is probably one of my favorite things to do. Journaling played a big role in my teen and adult years. Recently, in a moment where I was feeling stuck, I decided to revisit some of my journals from 2011, and as I looked back, I was filled with hope and gratitude. 

2. Spend Time Alone in Nature

It seems like everyone recommends going for a walk to boost your mood, but there’s a reason for that. In many ways, nature has a therapeutic effect. 

Last year, when I worked in an office, I started developing a habit of eating my lunch at a nearby park and taking a walk after. Now, I work from home, and some days I’ll take my laptop outside and sit in my covered patio. I become aware of the birds singing and the wind rustling the leaves  on the trees. Just closing my eyes for two minutes helps me feel grounded. Time alone in nature also makes me feel closer to God. 

3. Sit With My Feelings 

This was a big one for me. I used to be the QUEEN of staying busy to avoid my emotions. Understanding and learning to cope with my emotions has also helped me cope with anxiety and depression. In my early 20s, I turned to my career and overworking to avoid real, unresolved emotions. In my late 20s, I always needed to leave my house or I got anxiety. Therapy helped me see that my feelings are there to tell me something about myself. Now, I can identify my triggers, acknowledge my emotions, and have more self-compassion. 

4. Let My Walls Down

You know that voice in your head that says, “They won’t love me if I share my darkest secrets?” That voice is triggered by the fear of judgement. Although it may be very uncomfortable to let our guard down, sharing our story becomes a powerful and transformational experience because it provides a sense of relief and release. 

It may feel hard to find the right people in your life to be vulnerable with. It’s important to share what’s on your mind with people you trust. If you’re feeling unsure about who to talk to, you can seek a therapist. Therapy has helped me open up more and be kinder to myself in the process. There are times I share my vulnerability through my blog or within a group at church. Other times, it’s in a text to a friend. It’s important to find people that hold a safe space for you. 

5. Tap into my Creativity

As a little girl, I spent hours alone every day writing, painting, and writing. I would forget about everything else and become so absorbed in my own little world. With life, work, and responsibility, I gradually locked that passion away. But, as I started becoming more self-aware, I learned how much I missed doing something creative for myself. And, I do have to say that I was pleasantly surprised that I can still draw and paint pretty well. 

💡 By the way: I can now notice when I am “off” or getting out of alignment with myself and need to refocus and realign. One other helpful and creative tool I’ve used is a vision board (a collage of images, photographs, affirmations, and quotes that help me visualize my goals). This sits in my office/workout space. Having my goals in sight helps me feel inspired and refocused. 

Takeaway: Self-awareness, acceptance and alignment are so critical to owning your life. As you discover things about yourself, you will observe things about yourself that you love, or realize that there are values and beliefs you’ve held that maybe don’t quite serve you, or maybe dreams you thought you had that were never really your dreams to begin with. This journey takes courage because it means allowing your heart and feelings to lead you back to yourself and that makes so many of us uncomfortable.

But, who you really are matters, and you deserve to live authentically.