Mommy Finger, Baby Finger

Saying YES to God when it’s unclear what the future looks like means accepting what is on the other side before you get there. Easy right? Pffft – you’re telling me.

Saying YES to God takes boldness and real, I mean real, blind faith. 

I personally experienced this a while back when God whispered to my heart while I was on a trip in San Diego. It was in that moment of prayer in my hotel room that God had invited me to trade my plans for His by moving out of our home in Arizona to Texas. At first, God’s invitation felt EXCITING. I text my friend and told him all about it and my prayer journal was so full of GREAT, POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND WORDS.

But … then the journey started looking much different than I imagined. Just days later, we found out our house was going up for sale and we had a few weeks to move out. Family opened up their doors and initially, I planned on staying with them for only a month — that month turned into three when the road was filled with more potholes than I’d anticipated. For one, aside from a writing contract in AZ, I didn’t have a job lined up in Texas, which was necessary according to multiple realtors. Without a job or some sort of offer letter it would be almost impossible to get approved for a house. It seemed like forever before we were approved for a new home. 

Let me tell you this though – the wait was HARD. I didn’t understand why God would call me to it and then force me to go through such a difficult process. I had lots of questions and so did a lot of people. The questions, comments and unsolicited advice made me question God more and it took a toll on my mental and emotional state. In fact, I had even started looking for new jobs and houses locally as I was starting to lose hope in the idea of moving to Texas. There were days I couldn’t even get out of bed. So, I turned over and read my Bible.

However, even in in the middle of my fear, grief and confusion, God’s word would assure me that it was His will and that gave me strength and courage. God was pulling me into a period of transition, and although it was painful I could feel His presence. While I was going through the difficult preparation, a friend reminded me that none of this was by accident. 

Just three days before we were approved for our new home in Texas, I cried at the edge of my bed on my knees and begged God to intervene. I was starting to feel so weak, frustrated and stuck. Then, the call came out of nowhere:

“Hi Jeannette, I am calling to let you know you’ve been approved for the home and I need to know what your desired move-in date is.” 

Hugging my daughter, we both cried together. We were equally shocked. Suddenly, through more tears I recognized an uncomfortable truth: God closes and opens doors no man can shut. He’s in complete control. He sees more than we ever could. 

And then, the week before our big move, I accepted my dream job in marketing to be a voice for children facing life-threatening abuse and neglect in the state of Texas. (As a survivor of domestic violence, I’ve held a deep compassion for abused and vulnerable children. ) Gradually, my pain began turning into hope.  

Tonight, I am writing this from my bedroom floor. We still don’t have beds, but the tears have dried and we are celebrating this new chapter. My little one loves her new room and taking walks after school at a nearby nature preserve to look for animals. Today, we spotted deer along our walk. We’re slowly but surely embracing the changes in our lives.