Mommy Finger, Baby Finger

There was a moment, actually, many moments after my daughter’s dad and I broke up that I questioned my ability to love. And when I was left unemployed, I looked around our old, little home, feeling like maybe I didn’t have a lot to give. But then, these little things — the tiny human I gave birth to and the tiny pup that once slept on my head — gave me hope and taught me so much about myself and love.

My daughter, Ali, is seven. When I asked her what love is. She said, “Love is powerful and amazing.” I then asked her, “What makes it so powerful and amazing?” She answered, “It brings happiness and it gives.” Wow! I couldn’t agree more. Loving these two has shown me that love is totally selfless.

Our dog, Rocky, is ten years old. He and I have been inseparable. In his younger days, he would go with me every morning on my three-mile run, swim laps with me in our pool and hiking with me on the weekends. He’s my best friend and soul dog. So when Rocky stopped walking in October of last year I cried a lot. I was gently informed that perhaps my best option would be to put him down. I couldn’t do it. Then, I decided I would let nature take its course. It has been four months since Rocky last walked. Rocky is still with us and I’m grateful. This experience has been a huge shift in perspective for me.

So from my heart to yours, here are the biggest lessons my two babies continue to teach me:

• Take every moment to express your love. Ali never holds back her affection. She is always letting me know how much I am loved. Rocky cries or barks as soon as I get home. He loves it when I rub his belly and scream “Mi gordito!” (My fatty)
• Be flexible. Ali has a ton of energy — always has. She’s never enjoyed naps so inviting her to cuddle with me and watch a movie doesn’t always work. I don’t always have the energy, but once I get up and get moving I find myself laughing and genuinely having a good time. Nowadays, Rocky can’t walk or run. He enjoys sitting outside with me while I read a book or write, watching the birds fly by or the rain.
• Be grateful. Ali and Rocky taught me that I needed to slow down and enjoy life for what it was. I was stressed when I was left without work shortly after Rocky stopped walking. But, they were happy to have me home and present.
• Be patient. Ali and Rocky both taught me to care for someone besides myself. They taught me responsibility. Ali loves my home-cooked meals and when I sit down and help her with homework. Rocky has accidents — sometimes they’re big ones and I can tell he’s embarrassed when I am cleaning the floor up. I also get up during the middle of the night to carry him outside and carry him back in. I’ve even begun water therapy with him in my bathtub. He enjoys it. Yesterday, the doctor confirmed Rocky has arthritis. I was informed he would require special care, a special diet and lots of patience.

Ali and Rocky taught me that I can love wholeheartedly. One of the most important things they’ve taught me is that until you learn to love someone genuinely and with all of your heart, then you’ll discover the true meaning of life. They have taught me that everybody deserves a chance at love.