Mommy Finger, Baby Finger

Why you need to find a circle of women who get you

My girlfriends and I have a Facebook messenger group chat. It’s the place where we vent about the terrible moments with our kids, the painful parts of dating, awkward visits to the gynecologist, funny memes, awful insider jokes, inspirational quotes and prayers. The first six years of raising my little one, I often felt alone and misunderstood. I remembered having seen The Single Moms Club, by Tyler Perry and thinking, “how cool would it be to have my circle of women to share life with?” So, I prayed to God just for that.

In the waiting, I focused on using my energy to develop self-love, emotional healing and my physical strength. During that time, I was also asked by a friend of mine to collaborate on a book about different people who had survived life’s difficulties. We met up for coffee with two other women she knew. I noted they were both single mothers at different places in their lives — but there was something more special there as we sat around the table sharing our life stories over coffee — we were all deeply connected through our strength, courage, humor and hope.

In one year alone, these women have given me the courage to report my abuser, lifted me up from depression, helped me find work, celebrated my small wins, laughed with me and danced with me … a lot.

About a week ago, one of my girlfriends sent a message in our group chat: “I love you girls. I’m so glad God put you in my life.” I smiled, remembering my prayer one year ago.

God didn’t mean for us to go through life alone. You were made to be in a community. 

I’m so grateful that I have found the love and support I’ve needed in every season within my tribe.